Just One Day

Fear thou not; for I am with thee:

be not dismayed; for I am thy God:

I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee;

yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41: 10

Hope can seem elusive
When the Evil One draws near
He'd have us focus far ahead
On all that we might fear.

For the future seems uncertain
When looked at from today
Each dream that we might hope for
Could go wrong in every way.

Thus he would entrap our minds
Held fast by fear's intent
That we might re-direct our lives
And, thus, our dreams prevent.

But the Lord gave us the answer
Spoken long ago
That shows how to hold onto
The dreams our hearts still know.

He said, "Take one day at a time
Don't borrow future fears
There's work enough to do right now
Don't waste those precious tears.

"Satan would have you think I can't
Do all I said I would -
I promised I would do the rest
Once you've done all you could.

"So don't worry about tomorrow
We'll get there as we will
There's no need to leap mountains
Just work on this day's hill.

"And as you walk on, day by day,
Though far your dreams appear
Have faith in me, walk by my side,
And soon all will be clear.

"Do not fear the Dark One
I'll show the way that's true
You see, I was here long ago -
I walked it once for you.

"So let the future wait for us
We'll get there as we may
For now there's just one moment
For now there's just one day."

(written 1/3/06)

Matt 6:34 ; 3 Nephi 13:34

I still find myself needing to remember this at times.

In Matthew 6:34 it states ,"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Sometimes we get so caught up in everything we're trying to work out just right, or anticipating any potential problem to avoid negative attention, or focusing on the magnitude of the mountain ahead of us that we can get paralyzed with the stress of it all. This scripture shows that today, now is what we need to concern ourselves with. It is well to plan and prepare, but don't waste the now on the future. We have enough things to care about today without adding tomorrow's burdens on top of it. Even better is the 3 Nephi version where it ends, "sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof." Now, not only can we stay focused, we also have the assurances that we'll be able to handle it even if it's just a day at a time

Writings from 2011 and today: To Forgive

I must confess a great amount of distress upon the completion of Mockingjay, the last book of Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games series. For a people to over-turn its nation because of the barbarity of their control tactics and then turn around and condemn the children of those who committed the crimes to the same horrors is revenge - pure and simple.

Some people believe similar suffering of guilty parties will relieve their own. They believe it is their right as victims. They often blame every wrong in their lives on the one who wronged them. Some become obsessed with it. It festers into an ultimate grudge leading to horrible actions.

I've often heard the comparison that 'holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.' Clearly illogical and rather foolish. Remembering the hurts and all the dark circumstances can actually bring about good, depending on the purposes. A wound must be kept clean to prevent festering. But to keep the memories alive for the purposes of hate, of revenge, leads to becoming the very thing you condemn.

So... what? You just let it go? Pretend it never happened? Forgive?! It's funny, or rather, sad, how often that term, that idea, is found offensive to the wounded. That happens, I believe, because it is often mis-employed by both the well-meaning and by impatient, uninformed busybodies. (This second group, particularly, can become a great hamper on the healing process.)

The phrase 'forgive and forget' is so over-used that those who have not yet faced such deep harms have come to believe that forgiving is forgetting. They fail to understand that to actually forget would be unhealthy as that would require denying reality. And that could eventually lead to instability when the truth ultimately rears its head. Forgetting is also foolish. All things in life add to our experience - our knowledge of the world and of ourselves - and to deny that experience is to limit our ability to respond, to cope, and to make wise decisions.

So then we're stuck, right? We can't build our existence around the trauma without the risk of losing ourselves, and we can't live in denial or risk losing our grip on reality. Or is this where 'forgiveness' comes in? In a particular sense - yes.

Forgiveness is not pretending the offender never offended. That is focusing on the past. How? Because by spending your energy denying what was, you are ultimately feeding all your energy into what was. In the past. Forgiveness is about not letting the past continue to harm the future.

For me, this has always been easiest by understanding the position of the offender and by knowing that life is a process of learning. Since no-one is perfect, it follows that mistakes, misunderstandings, and various offenses will inevitably occur. And I don't hold myself on some pedestal expecting to be shielded from all such occurrences. Life happens. I'm undeniably part of life (my own, at least). I will, therefore, experience the 'ups and downs' of life like everyone else. By recognizing this, I often no longer even have to worry about forgiving as I no longer see it as an 'offense'.

But sometimes it's not so easy to find an excuse for the offenders. The information needed is just not available or else they have no valid excuse. Then what? That's usually when I start pleading with God because I just can't understand. This is particularly distressing to me as my whole life is building understandings of the world around me. It becomes the unanswered 'why' that distracts my attention and disrupts my peace.

This is where I, personally, have to employ forgiveness. To do so, I have to remind myself that God is Judge. My access to information is limited, as is my ability to understand all things. His is not. I may be unable to find the excuses I desire that normally allow me to put the effects of life in a context I understand. He doesn't have that problem.

It is around this point when I realize I've been leaving out one very important context: faith. God is the Judge. I don't have to worry about prosecuting. I don't have to be the defense attorney (my usual method). Even more, I don't even have to testify. I am free. Because Christ suffered all the Atonement allows us to forgive - to turn it all over to Him, and to move forward with our lives. And it lets us rebuild with His help.

Regardless of the state of the person I have to forgive, I am free. They can deal with God as they will. If they pose no danger, we can work on rebuilding our relationship. Remember, forgiveness and repentance do not automatically negate natural consequences: the person the drunk driver killed is still dead. However, sharing love with them can bring healing to both parties. At the same time, avoiding an unrepentant abuser is not only perfectly acceptable, it is wisdom, pure and simple.

But this brings us back to the hard part of forgiveness. How do we deal with it when we see that person still living in a threatening way? How do we forgive when the automatic response any thought of them brings is fear? How do we not keep getting mad that we have to deal with scars that no one should have to have? Scars that others who haven't been there themselves can't even comprehend.

Once again, the answer lies with God. Through Christs' Atonement, we have the proof that all things will be made right. In our own lives and our own futures. In those around us. And ultimately in the lives of those who may have put us in this position. We pray for them that they will make themselves right with God to receive of His mercy, but if not, we can know that try however they might wish to, they can't fool God. And God will make it right. And that means we don't have to. Which also means we won't get ourselves into trouble trying to and putting ourselves in the wrong as well.

Doctrine and Covenants 64:

 9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

 10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

 11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.

The Lord offers the forgiveness and healing of His Atonement to all who will repent and receive of it. So long as we do not stand in the way of others, we will find the peace and healing we need. And we will be free to move forward with hope of better things to come. All in all, I'd say forgiveness is a pretty darn good deal.

Writings from 2011: He Knows

I have a particular enjoyment in fantasy and science fiction stories for they allow the explorations of 'what if?'s. This is most easily accomplished through scifi television shows, I have noticed. An older show, from the 90's, that I've been reviewing recently is called Sliders. For the first few seasons that I've seen, the main premise of the show is that the main characters got stuck sliding from one 'what-if' reality to another because they didn't know how to return home after their first experiment went awry.

The show explores such ideas as 'what if the Soviets had won the Cold War?' and 'what if America had not won its independence?' and 'what if penicillin had never been discovered?' And since the characters would arrive in the same general area in each alternate reality, they just might come in contact with their doubles.

The one I wish to write about supposed that time might progress more slowly at a different speed of rotation. This being the case, it was similar in effect to having gone back in time some 12 or so years. The band of four travelers arrived at the end of the Quin's (the main character) father's funeral.

In many episodes, the sliders had debated about whether interacting or interfering, especially with their doubles, was ethical. Yet, here, Quin would listen to no arguments from the others. He knew of the bullying his younger version would face the coming week and he intended to do something about it.

Acting the part of a friend of his father's, Quin made friends with the younger doubles of his mother and himself. When he helped break up the first of three fights he'd remembered being caught in, Quin also made friends with the grade-school teacher. He spent much energy working to convince mother and teacher that the bullying would only get worse if young Quin never stood up for himself. They didn't know it, but Quin, of course, was speaking from experience.

After the teacher broke up the second fight, they agreed to let the boy be taught basic boxing skills. Quin's companions were annoyed when he insisted on observing the third altercation and quite upset when they saw the boy with a bat. "How can you teach him that violence is the answer?" "You're just getting revenge on the bullying you went through!" "It's not fair to him to have to live with the consequences of your interference!"

Quin ignored then, bade them be quiet, and watched. The band of bullies started taunting the boy and as the first moved in to attack, the boy began to swing. But he checked himself. He knocked two of them flat, chased the others off, then continued to walk home. Quin was pleased; his companions stunned.

They learned the he had followed through with the swing because he'd had no other means of self-defense. The boy's knee had been busted so badly that he limped for the rest of his life. It was a huge burden of guilt for Quin that colored his self-perception and social interactions for years. It was a burden he could try to help a young boy avoid. A couple of bloody noses and self-confidence in place of a permanent injury and self-hatred.

As I watched this unfold, it put me in mind of the Atonement of Christ. He suffered all things for all men that He would know how to help them. Like Quin with his younger self, Christ has been there and knows the whole picture. If we are willing to accept it, His help and guidance can keep us from things we would regret terribly later. That help can come from the words of His scriptures, concerned friends and family and leaders, and individual guidance by His Holy Spirit. And it can come because He knows.